Do you feel like you’re just settling in life for whatever has come your way, but yearn for more? Your job, relationships, friendships, etc.? Let’s talk about relationships.
Relationships are not easy and require a lot of time and effort. When only one person is making time and effort, that results in an unfavorable and stressful relationship.
SETTLING FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE
When you are settling for less than you deserve in a relationship, you will notice that something is definitely missing. You may not be able to put your finger on exactly what is wrong, but you will feel an internal conflict. You don’t feel fulfilled, satisfied, happy, or even content. You will most likely feel anxiety and restlessness because your needs are not being met, no matter how hard you try. Quite often, when people are just settling for a relationship that is less than they deserve, they become depressed, unmotivated, and feel more alone than when they are in no relationship at all.
The following things are REQUIREMENTS in a healthy relationship, and if you don’t have these, you are settling:
You and your partner should be honest at all times and practice transparency. Are they honest with others about you? Are they open about who you are to their friends, or are you being hidden? Does their Facebook display that they are in a relationship? If not, they are keeping their options open, which is BS! If you have caught them in lies, walk away! You deserve truth.
You should be able to discuss anything and everything, and feel totally safe doing so. You should be with someone who is comfortable talking about your future together. If you have to walk on eggshells, get out. Being in a relationship with a defensive, closed-minded person never gets better.
Try to see things from each others perspectives. If they only see things from their own, and are quick to place the blame on you, they are not even trying to understand you. Don’t waste time explaining yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.
All people make mistakes, so forgiveness is necessary. If they occasionally do something minor that wasn’t right and they apologize, accept it and move forward. On the flip side, don’t forgive repeated bad behavior. This again shows they don’t value you. They think they can be rude, disrespectful and hurtful and you will continually forgive them, therefore they don’t need to change their behavior.
Does your partner treat you with respect? Does he listen to your thoughts and is careful with your feelings? Disrespect can be displayed by being called names, not showing up for plans on time, or canceling them, or not valuing your opinions and feelings. You and your time are valuable.
PRIORITIZING EACH OTHER
Does your partner make you the #1 priority in their lives, or do they make excuses? Be with someone who makes you the priority because they don’t want to lose you. Do not settle for being an afterthought, or someone’s second choice!
Do you freely give affection and get it in return without having to beg for it? If your partner would rather read a book or go to sleep than share intimacy with you, that is a problem! You deserve better and someone else out there will be glad to give it to you.
Do not, and I repeat – DO NOT just listen to their words, but notice the action that follows. Do they match up? Do they actually do what they say they’re going to do, or are you set up for constant disappointment? Do you often hear them say “Oh, I forgot”? People who value you and have integrity keep their word.
When these relationship essentials are not given freely, and you have to repeatedly ask for them, you are being taken for granted. Don’t stay in a bad relationship just for the sake of not being alone. You will feel alone anyway.
5 IMPORTANT TIPS
Take note of the energy you feel when you are with them. Do you feel uplifted and vibrant, or do you feel drained? Being with the wrong person will suck the life out of you.
Be with someone who consistently brings out the best in you, not the worst.
Raise your standards and don’t lower them for people who won’t rise to meet them, because if you were important to them, they would. Being with the wrong person robs you of the peace you could otherwise have in your life.
Listen to what your friends and family have noticed. If you have introduced your partner to many people, and very few, if any, like them, that’s a pretty good sign you don’t belong together and you are settling for less than you deserve!
Pay close attention to all of these and value yourself, because you deserve nothing less. I know you have heard it before, but life is short, and it’s much too short to not get what you want and deserve out of it. Live life to the fullest and DON’T SETTLE!!!