Relationships are something many people dream of having and everyone has their own reason for that. Some think that being in a relationship will bring them happiness. Some think they need to be in one because it’s popular and all of their friend’s are in one. Some people are pressured to hurry up and secure a relationship because their biological clock is ticking, and they need to have kids soon. There are tons of reasons that cause people to jump into a relationship, but there are also many reasons a relationship needs to end.
You may have noticed a change in how you feel about the other person, or how you feel about yourself while in the relationship. Have you lost your identity? Have you compromised your values and beliefs to please your partner? Are you stressing yourself out trying to be everything they ever wanted, or have you simply noticed they aren’t the type of person you see a long-lasting future with?
How are you supposed to know when or why to end a relationship? How do you know when to quit or if you need to try harder? Everyone questions these things from time to time and many relationships can be repaired with effort, love and understanding, but there are certain destructive elements in some that should never be overlooked, or second guessed. The following 10 signs a relationship absolutely has to end are:
If a friend came to you and told you he/she was being abused, what is the first think you might think? “OMG, are they hitting you”? Physical abuse should never, ever be tolerated and you definitely need to leave the relationship if this is happening. Don’t be fooled by the gifts they buy you after they give you a black eye, or by the fake apology they muster up after busting your lip, because it WILL happen again. There are also more subtle forms of abuse that will destroy you just the same, if not worse.
Verbal & Emotional Abuse
You may not recognize this form of abuse, especially if you have been receiving it for a long time, or if you had parents who treated you this way. If your partner calls you names, insults how you look, or puts you down for any reason, this is abuse. If your partner doesn’t accept that you have your own thoughts, opinions and feelings and try to force you to have theirs (because yours are wrong), this is abuse. They do this to manipulate you and bring your self-esteem so far down, you will become dependent on them and look to them for your self-worth. They want to make you so weak, you are incapable of leaving them.
There are many types of abuse, which can be explained in further detail in another article. This was just one reason you need to end a relationship. Read on for 9 more reasons.
2. TRYING TO CHANGE EACH OTHER
You could spend, or waste a lifetime trying to change your partner, or dealing with them trying to change you. A healthy relationship includes 2 people who admire and respect who their partner is without trying to change them. They appreciate each others differences and the value the difference brings to the relationship. They are open to learning from each other because they are not the same. If you find yourself in a relationship where you just can’t stand who the person really is and are trying your best to make them someone they aren’t, it is time to end it.
Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Without it, you can forget ever having a future together or having any true connection with each other. Do you often question whether their telling the truth? Do you wonder where they are, who they’re with, or what they’ve been doing? Have you caught them in lies? If you feel like you need to become a private investigator in your relationship, it’s time to end it.
Once you have lost respect for someone, there is little they can do to get it back. The things they did that resulted in your loss of respect cannot be changed. Due to their lack of integrity or character, you may always feel this way about them, no matter what they do to try to redeem themselves, because they will always be who they are. You may find yourself looking at them with disgust, and may no longer have much of anything to say to them. When you feel like there is no reason to associate with them any longer, you need to end the relationship.
This is a tricky one because there are things that can be done to improve your passionless relationship if you are both willing to try, but at some point, you have to realize it just isn’t going to happen. If one or both of you have no interest in doing the things that you did in the beginning, that attracted you to each other like crazy, forget it. You can’t stay in a boring, passionless relationship for long before one or both people cheat.
6. YOU’VE LOST YOURSELF
If your relationship has turned you into someone you don’t even recognize, that’s not a good sign. You may have become critical, constantly frustrated and resentful. If you have lost sight of your goals and dreams, and who you used to be before you were in this relationship, you are better off being alone for the time being or finding someone you align with more, who supports and shares similar interests and goals. You don’t belong in a relationship that is holding you back from being your best self.
Let’s face it, people do not fantasize about being in a relationship so they can be alone. If your partner is physically, mentally or emotionally absent, you will feel alone. You need to find a partner that is available to share your everyday life with. Someone who will grow with you. Someone you can lean on through hard times. If you’re with someone who is unavailable, you won’t have any of this.
8. LACK OF INTEREST
If you or your partner have no real interest in each other, the relationship will die. Do you find yourself not caring what they have to say anymore or what they are trying to share with you, or vice versa? Do you find yourself actually dreading the time you are about to have to spend with them? Do you watch the clock and get more irritated and anxious by the minute when they are about to arrive? These are all tell-tale signs you are not interested or invested in them anymore and you need to leave.
Is your partner a priority? Are you theirs? I have read over and over again that the relationship needs to be TOP priority in your lives. If your partner prioritizes time with their friends, hobbies, their job, or anything else above you, you will become upset and resentful (for good reason), and the relationship will die. When people prioritize each other and time spent together, it gives them something to look forward to, which keeps it interesting and exciting. It provides hope, meaning and shows you value them.
10. DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
If drugs and/or alcohol (which is a drug), are regularly present in the relationship, they are bound to become out of control at some point. If one or both of you doesn’t get help, you will not have a healthy, satisfying relationship. People use and abuse substances as a form of escape. If they are escaping from the relationship, they aren’t truly present. These substances will make the person exhibit quite undesirable behavior which also destroys themselves and the relationship. If one or both of you has a problem, get help, otherwise there is no hope. Don’t make excuses or kid yourself. Where there drugs and/or alcohol are prevalent, you will notice the other signs in this article as well.
Ending a relationship can be devastating, but so is staying in an unsatisfying, toxic one. Make yourself and your happiness a priority. Don’t stay in a relationship just to say you’re in one, because life will pass you by and you will miss out on knowing the best it could have been!